I admit, it's been a hard year for me.
I've questioned several times if I am supposed to be teaching....still.
Did I take the right path? Am I at a T in the road and need to change my course? I have always LOVED my job, and know that through frustrations sometimes these feelings surface, but they never stick.
Until this year.
I don't have anything extraordinarily different- a behavior problem, new standards, or anything that might make me question. I did start the multiage program- with no system in place- so I realize that it is a challenge just to begin something completely different and new.
Been there, done that.
I have changed grade levels every 3-4 years.
I have taken on new roles in the school.
I have taught staff development.
I have taken on the mentor program.
I feel that I am used to challenges, and know what comes with them.
So why the sudden need for purpose?
It has boggled me. The past 2 weeks, however, have been great. Not great in what happens or how I feel, but that I feel I am still supposed to be here. Teaching. Inspiring. Creating fun activities to make learning more fun.
I'll be honest, I prayed about it. I know that's where my answer is coming from.
So here I am, continuing to swim among the challenges, newness, and frustrating moments that is teaching.
But this will bring it all back to perspective...
I was looking back through some of the little valentine cards the students gave me this year.
I found one, made from a recycled cereal box...
it said:
Dare Apple Teacher
Thank you for making me smartar.
Happy Valentine's Day.
Yep. I'm supposed to be here.
What brings you your purpose when you're having a tough time?
xo
When I am feeling particularly adrift and wondering about my purpose, I often pray for an obvious moment where I can make a difference. It never fails that on those days I have a child who NEEDS me. A child from a different culture who needs someone to "get" her. A child who needs someone in her life who is a safe harbor when she had a rough morning at home. A kid who is exhausted by the drama at home and needs a teacher who will give him the time and space to deliver a message that really says "He needed a break. Read this note, give him a smile and send him back to class." I love these moments where God lets me see the things beyond the lessons that make a difference.
ReplyDeleteAmber, so true! So often a student needs us in a completely different manner than as a teacher. :) Do you have a blog?
ReplyDelete