Thursday, February 3, 2011

Lying

If you are a teacher, you know that the teaching does not stop with academics. We also must teach about being socially appropriate, how to solve a personal problem, and what is appropriate where. Kids always try new things, say inappropriate things, and are, ultimately, mean to each other- at least once in awhile. Although it can be difficult to accept, the kids are just trying things out. If we handle the situation in an appropriate manner, we can help the children learn from the problem rather than elevate it...easier said than done.

What do you do when a student lies?

This is a tough one. It is so difficult to be lied to, especially when you know the truth.

My ultimate source for handling problems is from Love and Logic (Jim Fay, Charles Fay). They suggest several points to keep you calm (because getting riled up never handles the problem).

First, if you know the child has done something, know that they may lie to protect themselves. Let's face it- even adults do this! Asking them about the situation will only set them up to lie about it. If you know the situation happened, say in a calm manner, "I know _______________ happened. I expect ____________."

If the child tries to argue about it, just become a broken record and reply with, "What did I say about it?"

Another suggestion from Love and Logic is to talk to the child when you're ready. If you respond in the moment, you are most likely upset, even angry, and those emotions can only escalate to a big argument. Let the child know that you plan to talk to them, but right now are too upset and will get back to them later.

I have a colleague that is dealing with a student that lies about everything. It has become very frustrating and disheartening. Sometimes, it becomes so overwhelming, it seems nothing is working. Try to take a deep breath, think it over, seek out suggestions from colleagues, and just do the best you can.

No matter what, you are always a help to the child if you have their best interest at heart.

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